Why workshops are so powerful

To be honest, I was looking for an escape from my busy life. It was October 2017 and navigating life with my middle school daughter, my active eight-year-old son, and a puppy definitely had its highs and lows. But what really marked this time in my life was the sciatic pain I had been experiencing in my left leg. It left me with a limp and exhaustion, and though I didn’t know it at the time, I was losing hormonal support. Peri-menopause plus sciatic nerve pain equals exhaustion.

I was looking for a weekend retreat. Something short. A few days at the most. I took a Kaiut Yoga class in Telluride, CO, a few months before. I found that Francisco Kaiut was coming to Dallas. I remember enjoying the class I had taken from Yvonne in Telluride, so I was really excited to meet and work with the creator of the method. There was something about the Telluride class that I loved but couldn’t quite communicate.

Fast forward to October. I signed up and was ready to go! Dallas is a three-hour drive from Austin, so it was pretty easy. The workshop was around 12 hours total. There were two-hour classes on Thursday and Friday evenings and four-hour classes on Saturday and Sunday. The moment I stepped into my car to drive to Dallas, I felt I could disconnect a little bit from my busy life. It was a time for me: my music, my audio books, time for myself.

Once I arrived to the workshop, I was greeted by Francisco himself. A very calm, friendly and welcoming presence. I could immediately sense feeling quite welcome to his program and care. The environment felt safe, calm, even quiet. Francisco was already setting the tone for what was to come, and it began with the first handshake.

I was invited to find a mat. I didn’t know anyone at the time, and for me, that was precisely what I needed — some alone time. It was nice to find a mat, lie down, close my eyes, and simply be anonymous to the world. At least for the moment. Anonymous to the world, but very much seen by the person leading this experience. Once class began, there was a sense that I was not alone; I was being held among many others. Sixty others to be exact.

The workshop began, and I was invited to move deeply inward. Going inward was quite new for me. At first, I felt a resistance to shifting away from an external view of the world. I’ve later come to learn that the nervous system will resist this change of state. But then, with time, the brain learns to give up the resistance and go in. For me, it truly feels like I’m on a whole new journey, an inward journey.

I was on my mat, surrounded by 59 other people, exploring various angles of my hips, shoulders, and feet. Feeling, experiencing and understanding the patterns that were keeping me solidly stuck in the pain of sciatic nerve pinching, limping, and exhaustion. I was getting to spend 12 solid hours with the areas of my body that were keeping me from living the life I loved and it was quite freeing to really see and understand the realities of what was keeping me stuck.

The only way I was able to really see my pelvis and hips from this 3D, almost X-ray vision I was developing, was how deeply I was able to go inward. The best way I can describe this experience is this: once my nervous system shifts, sounds become clear, listening becomes easy, and perceiving becomes the most interesting aspect of my life. There’s a void, and emptiness. There’s nothing, a clean palate for me to explore what doesn’t move. When my body and mind become one, thoughts come to an end. There is no chatter, only clarity.  And then there’s space to explore all that is stuck and doesn’t move. And, then, I can sense circulation, heartbeat and breath as those respond to the pressure. It’s mine. It’s all mine and it has been the most freeing part of my life.

Returning to regular life from an experience like that is quite grounding. All of a sudden I had a more open, clearer view of the complexities of my life. Having spent 12 hours in a meditative state made its way into my regular life in ways I have a hard time explaining. It’s given me the gift of pulling the camera lens out and away from the details giving me more time to respond rather than react. Spending that amount of time with my brain operating at a much slower pace was key. It gave my system the time it needed to move out of the fight or flight mode I had been stuck in for so long and gave me the gift of calm, with the added benefit of finding a path forward to taking the action that was needed to break the patterns that were keeping sciatic pain, limping and a frazzled mind in place.

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